


Nice to meet you.

by GreyscaleSky



Series: Home [1]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: AU, M/M, Movie Night, Multi, Other, Paul and Pat are mentioned, Pokemon go ruins lives, Ringo - Freeform, Tags will update as new chapters are added, This is a sort of gift for Undead-Focus for being a good bud, Tord had a great past, aldi is mentioned, and the mugs, drug mention, edd becomes more gay by the second, eduardo is moody, i am not advertising aldi, i am very attracted to tom okay, i don't know how to tag, i forgot about ringo this entire time, i literally googled the ring, just fuck buddies, mark is extremely homosexual, no sadness at all, once again i am not advertising aldi, or anything mentioned, some tordjon, that cider was terrible, the guys are poor, theres a gross story, this is a terrible fic, tom and tord are not dating, tom and tord both fuck up, tom is an alcoholic, tom is banned from currys, tord is even more depressing, tord is going to get arrested
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-08-17 11:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8142592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyscaleSky/pseuds/GreyscaleSky
Summary: My name's Edward Golding, and I've just moved out of my parent's house into a home shared with Matt Harding and his two weird roommates, Tom and Tord.





	1. Nice to meet you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Undead_focus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Undead_focus/gifts).



Hi, my name is Edd Golding, I've just finished two years of college and moved out of my parent's and I'm looking for my own place now, I've taken to checking my Facebook and Twitter for any available places that can take me and my cat, Ringo.

  
I had posted a pretty lengthy post on a Facebook group from my college about me needing a place to stay that allowed cats, but that had been over two months ago and I was starting to think I'd never find a place.

  
Until Matt Harding emailed me one day as I was brushing my teeth with a spare room at his place, his grandmother had left the house in his name when she had passed and although he already had two other roommates he still had another room spare for another college graduate.

  
We had been emailing each other back and forth for about three days, introducing ourselves and bonding, Matt was a hairdresser, and lived with Tom, who was a college dropout that wrote songs and owned a guitar, and Tord, a Norwegian guy who was somewhat of a mechanical engineer and was searching for a job in the military.

  
On the fourth day, Matt asked me to visit his place and check it out, he gave me the address and I was able to use my old bus pass to get the bus for free, it dropped me off at the top of Durdam Lane and I carried Ringo in his cat carrier down the hill and to the front door of Matt's house.

  
Matt's house was kind of what I expected from an old lady's house, it was a bungalow, with nice cream walls and a red roof and door, it was very cute in a way, like a cartoon house, there was a little pavement leading up to the front door, and that tiny bit of sick I felt in my throat was gone, this place was nice and friendly, and Matt definitely was, there was no reason to be afraid.

  
I knocked on the door, and I heard loud yelling behind it, one must have been Tord, the Norwegian, because it was incredibly thick and there was Norwegian mixed in.  
"Tom, get the fucking door, ditt eple!"

  
"Eat my cock, you fucking commie!"  
"Oh, you'd like that!"

  
The door opened, and a ginger man, about 6'0 towered above me, he was cute, really cute.

  
"Oh, you must be Edd! I'm Matt, and those two naughty boys yelling are Tom and Tord." He shook my hand tight and it left me feeling almost dizzy as he did, and as overwhelming as the experience was already, it was still fun, and it made me feel really comfortable, almost like I was home.

 

 


	2. Guided Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's take a look around.

Matt took Ringo's cat carrier from me and ushered me inside, he was certainly the friendliest guy I'd ever met, and with his roommates, it seemed lucky to have one friend around.

Tom and Tord were still loudly arguing as we entered the living room, it had a very homely and old lady type of feel to it, but at the same time there were posters up from various heavy metal and punk bands, the wallpaper looked a little singed at some points, and the carpet was stained with god knows what, I guess a hairdresser, a singer and a mechanical engineer really are the messiest people in the world.

There were two guys in the middle of the living room, one wearing a red hoodie, with light brown hair spiked into two horns and a red mechanical right arm, the right side of his face was heavily scarred and his eyes were weirdly interesting and cool, the right eye was red and the left was grey. He was laying on the ground and looking up at us.

And then, there was the guy sat on top of him and holding his arms down, he was wearing a dark blue hoodie, his hair was also light brown but spiked up more like a pineapple than devil horns like Red had, and probably the most important part, his eyes were black.  
I really couldn't tell if he didn't have eyes, or if they were just black, but either way he didn't have pupils or anything, I figured he was blind, a blind guitarist.

"Now boys, save that for later and come meet Edd and his pussy!" Ringo meowed in his carrier and was pawing at the gate in an attempt to get out, and Blue quickly jumped off of Red and came over to us, Red held out his right hand for assistance but Blue slapped his hand away.  
"Tommee bear, help me up." Red whined, and Blue and Matt laughed him off, so I took his hand and pulled him up instead, he looked a little shocked, but grateful, he grinned at me with his big sharp teeth.

"Hei, jeg er Tord , og dette er Tom!" He introduced himself and Tom in Norwegian, but it sounded simple enough and I got the gist of what he was saying, I took him by the metal arm and shook his hand, then Tom's.

"Good to meet you, ignore anything that Tord says, it's usually gross and you'll learn it quickly if you're planning on living here." Tord noogied him affectionately.

"What did you say you shit, Jeg spretta søstra di mens den tilbakestående faren din sto bak og fumlet med ballene mine!" They laughed, and the way they laughed, despite Tord's vulgar mouth made me feel very safe, and I felt as though these guys could become my friends.  
"Well, now that's over with, let's give you a tour of our lovely little house!" Matt clapped his hands together and Tom groaned, holding his hands to his head.

"Yeah, easy Matt, I was out late and I've still got a hangover." Tord rubbed his head and Tom leaned against him, so they were together? It sure seemed like they were, or just very close friends.  
"You really need to stop with the drinking, Jehovah."

"Yeah, and you need to stop going out with your bummer friends and getting high." Tord's face was bright red as he realised he had been caught and Matt laughed.

"Well, that's my roommates met, I know we'll all be best friends in no time!" He cheered and I agreed. they were certainly friendly and nice.

"I, uh, I have to be very honest here Edd, we're all really messy." They all looked away like a bunch of embarrassed children and I looked over the scorch marks on the wall, the cheap beer cans on the floor and the junk food everywhere.

It adds character.

The smell however, did not.

I could definitely smell mouldy milk, but I couldn't see it, and that freaked me out a little, there were probably bugs in the living room and I could imagine having a stroke seeing their own bedrooms, Matt seemed to have hair products and wigs everywhere, Tom was a heavy drinker and Tord seemed to drip oil everywhere he went.

Tord and Tom were the most abnormal people I'd ever met in my life, and I was sneaking glances at them anytime I could, Tom's eyes creeped me out just a bit and I couldn't tell where they were looking, and Tord's scars seemed really painful.

Matt led me into the kitchen first, it was cleaner than I expected, though a little small with a pile of unwashed plates in the sink, and a bottle of Jack Daniel's on the counter, the table was scuffed and scratched and even from here I could see someone had scratched their names and a heart into the middle, who were Paul and Patryk and why did they have their names scratched into the table?

I could see the backyard through the window above the sink and there was a huge, sprawling forest that I'd neglected to notice when I'd got there, it was beautiful, with light streaming through the leaves from what I could see, and there was a nice little trail of light brown dirt that made out a trail to follow, I'd have to go and have a lovely walk down there one day.  
"We use sticky notes to claim our food and we mostly buy our own, but we'll share with you if you want." Tom moved between my shoulder and Matt's upper arm and Matt nodded, I could hear Tom's music through the headphones around his neck, it was deafeningly loud dubstep, ugh, the worst type of music.

Still, he moved away as quickly as he'd butted in and he was back next to Tord in an instant, who was holding Ringo in his arms like a baby and smiling at him, as Matt took me by the wrist and led me up the stairs, nice and soft and carpeted with red plush carpet.  
Matt took the lead up the stairs and Tord walked beside me, letting me get a good long look at his scars as he fiddled with his arm, the whole right side of his face was badly burnt and cut, with a thick black stitch from his jaw to the bottom of his ear, his arm was shiny, metal and red, so shiny I could see my reflection in it.

And Tord's face apparently.

Oh fuck.

He was laughing like a mental patient when he saw my face, he was laughing so hard he snorted a couple of times and he had to stop and hold his stomach.  
"Y-your face!" He wiped away the tears from his eyes and sighed as he pet my head.

"My friend, I expect you to look at my hideous deformity and ask as many questions as you can think of." Man was he self deprecating, it reminded me of the one time I'd painted over the lines in my art class and I'd cried out 'I'm going to kill myself' and everyone said 'Same', I felt like Tord would definitely enjoy those types of jokes.

"Oh, um, I don't think it's a hideous deformity, y-you pull it off very well, it suits you- fuck I didn't mean that..." God, I was such a big dorky loser with verbal diarrhoea.  
Thank God my new roomies were just as awkward and dorky as I was.

Tord was kind enough to shrug off my comment and Matt showed me the bathroom, which had to be the cleanest room in the entire house, no wrappers or bottles or oil or wigs strewn about, but it instead had shampoo and conditioner bottles all over the tub and on the floor, at least my hair would smell like coconuts and passion fruits.

My room was almost completely bare, aside from a bed frame, mattress and a set of oak drawers, it was no problem of course, I had my own set of furniture at my parent's and I could probably sell my own bed frame for some quick cash, and I even had a small built in closet to put my junk in!

"So Edd, you wanna move in with us still?" Matt walked up to my side as I surveyed the room.  
Matt, Tom and Tord were all serious weirdos, they were messy, vulgar and loud and fought like children, and I knew I wouldn't have any peace living with them.

"Matt, I couldn't imagine not moving in."


	3. Some mature male bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some bonding and swearing

Two days later, I was packed and ready to move in, two suitcases, my art supplies, laptop and my regular rucksack, and Ringo of course.  
Tord was kind enough to let me borrow his car to get all my stuff over, even if he insisted on driving as his car was 'the last thing that gave him any joy in his miserable life', cheery, his music taste was awful too, he liked self deprecating songs and I was beginning to wonder if I should approach him, or move the knives to a really high shelf.  
Even if Tord seemed to have crippling depression and revelled in it he was still a fun person to drive with, he sang loudly to any song I played, including Avril Lavinge, One Direction and Lady Gaga, he was pretty polite to my mum and dad too, which was a shock considering I had no idea he spoke English in the first place and Tom and Matt had warned me he had no cap on his vulgar language, and he let Ringo lay on the backseat instead of in his cat carrier.  
And I still couldn't stop staring at his arm or his face.  
“Edd, I know you are very curious about my arm.” Tord turned to me once we found ourselves in a huge traffic jam on the motorway, from the experience I had they could take hours at around 4, it was rush hour.  
“Oh, i-is it, is it that obvious?” I stuttered out, and I saw Tord smirk from the corner of my eye, his metal fingers tapped against the wheel along to the radio and every once in a while his lips would twitch into a frown as the cars didn't seem to move.  
"Edd, as much as I like you, my deformity is rather personal to me, I hope you'll understand that I don't just tell everyone I meet." I nodded, but I was actually quite ashamed that I thought he'd just give me his entire life story after meeting him once.  
"I was in a car accident." He smiled at me, but it wasn't genuine, he looked upset as he recollected his thoughts, his face had paled even more and his eyes seemed watery. I didn't press further.  
The drive was quiet from then.

By the time we'd arrived at Matt's place it was six in the afternoon, four hours after we'd set off and we were both exhausted, Tord had been rubbing at his eyes and I could see there had been foundation under his eyes, there were dark grey, almost purple bags under his eyes that stood out against his pale skin, and as handsome as he was it didn't suit him, even his beautiful mismatched eyes seemed darker than usual as he helped me carry my desk up the stairs.  
That sounded a little gay.  
Not that being gay was a bad thing! I have a gay cousin, and Tom and Tord weren't straight if they were together! I mean Tom could be gay, but Tord almost crashed when he was distracted by two women walking down the street, so I guessed he was bi.  
God, now I sound like a right arse.  
Anyway, Tord was more than happy to help with the heavy lifting while Matt and Tom took my boxes up and even with something so simple as moving in the guys managed to make it fun, Tom set up a Bluetooth speaker and played one of his mix playlists for us as we took everything upstairs and Matt was telling us a story his co-worker had told him about a crazy girl she'd gone to school with, and she'd had severe head lice every year, Matt was even kind enough to go into detail about the lice and how they squirmed, I groaned and I heard Tom audibly gag behind me, even Tord seemed to cringe, but as gross as it was Matt and Tord were laughing, their senses of humour was warped, but so was mine, so I laughed along, it felt nice.

The guys were more like a family than just friends, and I felt like I was intruding so I stood in the kitchen microwaving a bag of cheap popcorn and watching the timer tick down to zero, I'd already burnt one bag and the microwave was awkward so I had to stop it at 1:27 or it'd burn again, I was watching the timer closely when Tom snuck up behind me and grabbed me by the sides.  
"Fuck me!" I almost shat myself and Tom was laughing so hard he had to hold onto the counter.  
"Christ Edd, you're a swell guy!" He wiped away the tears in his...eyes? I still wasn't sure whether he had eyeballs or not, because I'd never been close enough, buy now seemed like the perfect time.  
"Tom, I was wondering..." It's really weird to have to ask about someone's eyes, in college it was usually just asking to stare into their eyes to get the right shape, colour and style, but this time I was having to ask 'Hey guy I've just met, do you have eyeballs, or are you blind?'.  
I guess Tom got the question a lot, because he stopped me before I made an ass of myself.  
"Yeah, I have eyeballs, they're just completely black, and I can see." He didn't seemed annoyed or offended by my question and I thanked Christ he wasn't, I didn't want to cross a line with my new friends.  
"So were you born like that or..." Tom nodded and began to rummage around in the fridge.  
"Yeah, you want a drink?"  
"Sure, coke if you've got it." Tom passed me a can and took out a bottle of cider and three glasses from an overhead cupboard, the cider looked cheap, but the flavour looked pretty good, strawberry and kiwi.  
Tom saw me staring and let me have a swig from the bottle.  
Okay, so the label is a big liar and that cider is TERRIBLE.  
I had to spit it out into the sink and take a huge gulp of my cola to try and take the taste out of my mouth, but Tom laughed again and took a sip of it himself with no reaction.  
"Yeah, it's not the best, but it's the cheapest one at Aldi's and we always like a drink with a movie." Tom patted my back and left with the three glasses, tossing the empty bottle into the bin on the way.  
Well, at least we're all gonna bond over our favourite films, I thought.  
Wait, what's that burning smell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhh end me this one is the worst so far.  
> But it's okay, Tord's backstory is coming.


	4. What the fuck is wrong with that Norwegian (Apart from the obvious)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord should be on Nat Geo wild he's so mysterious.

Okay, so I was wrong about us all bonding over the movie.  
Matt was probably the least irritating, but still annoying since he liked to talk over the film and missed the important bits so he'd lean over to me and ask what was going on every twenty minutes, Tord was barely awake during the entire thing and curled up into a blanket with Tom laying his legs over his lap and hogging the bowl of popcorn, as much as I liked these guys they were the worst people to watch movies with.  
The light from Tord's phone was starting to give me a headache and I could see he was watching some kind of art livestream with earphones in instead of the movie, the light of his phone seemed to make the bags under his eyes even more prominent and just looking at him and imagining how tired he must be made me tired.  
I yawned, and it set off a chain reaction of yawning, Matt then Tom and then Tord, we all paused to clarify what had happened and Matt laughed loudly, Tom smiled and Tord did that little eye roll and a smile, like he was saying 'losers' but enjoyed it just as much, I love when people do that in movies.  
You know, I don't think I even really paid attention to the movie itself, we were watching Angry Birds on their broken TV, it had some odd discolouration around the corner that I had noticed immediately as we'd sat down and there was a long crack on the stand, it was almost worrying seeing all the broken gadgets around, even Tord's rose-gold iPhone had a crack in the top right corner but it'd be rude to ask, right? You can't just go up to a group of people you've only just met and ask 'Hey, why do you guys have loads of broken stuff around, I thought Tord was an engineer?'  
Tord was still job hunting as far as I'd heard from Matt, although he'd put a hold on it since his accident he was slowly getting back into it with encouragement from Matt, Tom and now me, Tom usually busked at the outdoor shopping centre in the middle of town for his money but was nagged by Matt to get a real job, and Matt actually had a real job that paid real money in a real building! I was impressed, but it made me feel nice knowing I wasn't the only one without a 'real' job, my mum had always nagged me about that.  
The climax of the movie was coming up and I saw Matt lean forward in awe, Tom shifted his leg just slightly and kicked me, whispering out an apology, and Tord...  
Tord was asleep against me, barely holding his phone and snoring as he curled closer in his sleep and muttered out someone's name, I heard him say 'Paul', 'Patryk', 'Matt' and 'Tom', but then he said 'Jon' even quieter and his eyebrows twitched, and suddenly his head was nestled right under my chin, his heavy breathing began to settled and he sighed 'Edd'.  
I wasn't really sure how to react to that.  
Tom ended up taking a snapchat of Tord sleeping on me and promised Tord would end up making it up to me if he didn't want it going on his story, apparently he'd done it before and now Tord bought him Subway most of the time.

It was only when I went to bed at 1:37 in the morning that I realised I'd left Ringo's bed at my parents and he was asleep on my bed like the little shit he was, I didn't bother moving him.

I felt weird getting up in the morning, it was nine, which wasn't really a problem since I usually got up early anyway but I had no idea about Matt, Tom and Tord, I didn't know when they got up or if they'd want breakfast, I wanted to just fall back asleep but Ringo was hungry and began to mewl.  
You can't say no to kitty mewls.  
Me and Ringo came into the living room to find Matt up already and dressed in whatever the hairdresser's equivalent of nurses' scrubs and looking shocked to see me awake.  
"Oh, morning Edd! Tom and Tord are never up this early so I don't make breakfast." As if on cue Tord stumbles out into the room with a mumble and flops down on the sofa face first, Matt patted him on the ass, bid goodbye to me and left through the front door, leaving me and Tord alone again, he wasn't wearing a shirt and damn was he muscular under his hoodie, though he was also badly scarred all the way to his hip.  
"Edd, Tom showed me that photo last night and now I have to buy you subway."  
"Oh, you don't have to do that! Tom's just messing with you." Tord cranes his neck to look at me and smile through his tired eyes.  
"Nah, it's only fair, I've fallen asleep on loads of people and I always end up buying them something." He stood up and stretched, I heard his shoulders crack as he did and I got a good view of his back muscles, and a small tramp stamp on his back.  
It said 'Jon', with a sleek black line underlining it and two butterflies, one red and one blue on either side, then I noticed a ring on Tord's right ring finger.

He was engaged?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shit chapter, pardon me.  
> At least it's longer, but I really just rushed through this in an attempt to get it out now since I have an assignment to work on.


	5. Omelettes and crippling depression from a game designed for 8 year olds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it says on the tin.

His ring was a very beautiful diamond encrusted silver with two intertwining flowers, blue and red, and didn't quite fit onto his finger, as if it were made for someone with thinner fingers, he twisted it in his hand and when he noticed I was watching, he shoved his hand into his pocket and smiled, more embarrassed this time.  
"So, breakfast?" He coughed into his closed hand and retreated into the kitchen like an ashamed puppy from being caught, I followed behind him and entered the kitchen to see him rummaging through the fridge.  
"I didn't know you were engaged, to Tom right?" He choked on whatever he'd stuffed into his mouth and when he spun around to face me he had pastry on his chin, he seemed even paler than he usually was and he twisted his ring in his metallic fingers.  
"N-no, not to Tom, why...why would you say that?" He stuttered, refusing to look me in the eye.  
Shit, I was wrong about them and now Tord hated me, he'd never speak to me again and then Tom and Matt would get mad and kick me out, then I'd have to go back to my parent's house and live as a freeloader in their basement and eventually they'd kick me out onto the streets and I'd have to live out the rest of my life in a cardboard box next to a McDonalds and-  
"Edd?"  
Oh shit he's still talking to me.  
"Y-yeah Tord?"  
"Why'd you think I was with Tom?"  
"I just thought you were really cuddly with him 'cause you were dating."  
Tord pondered for a second.  
"Hm, can't argue with that, but we're not engaged." And with that he turned back to the fridge, suddenly I remembered the name on his back wasn't even 'Tom'.  
"So your fiancé is called Jon then?" This time Tord banged his head on the shelf above, knocking over an unopened package of triangle cheese spreads, I winced as he rubbed his head.

"Mhm." He takes out three eggs from the fridge and closes it with his foot, then takes out a teaspoon and spatula from the drawer beside his hip, I wanted to be useful and contribute so I hopped up onto the counter next to the kettle, stretched up to the cup cabinet and took out three mugs, I'd forgotten my mugs too, I realised as I was searching for my own, so I turned to Tord to see him leaning out of the window with a cigarette in his fingers.  
"Hey Tord, could I borrow one of the mugs in here? I forgot mine." Tord nodded so I looked at the different mugs they had.  
Most were plain white with a funny quote slapped on, such as one with 'Might be vodka' on it, another one said 'I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be a princess, seriously, someone fix this shit.' with the word princess in pretty, glittery pink.  
There was another one that was an empty Foster's can with a handle duct taped to it, and one that looked like a pill bottle, a grenade and finally a rainbow one with 'Nobody knows I'm gay' in big block letters. I took that one for me, the pill bottle one for Tord and the vodka one for Tom.  
Tord raised an eyebrow at the mug and smiled at me from behind the cigarette, before breathing out a puff of smoke, stubbing out the fag on the windowsill and throwing it out of the window before returning to the omelettes he'd been preparing.

"I like mine black, and Tom likes it milky with no sugar." I hummed a response and popped three tea bags into the cups as the kettle clicked itself off, the silence was actually pretty comfortable instead of awkward and I could hear Tord humming under his breath, now I've never been in a fight and I'd consider myself a pacifist but he was most definitely humming Rick Astley and I was going to throw a sofa at him as soon as I'd finished making the tea.  
Then Tom walked in, in black and white checkered boxers rubbing his eyes.  
"Robocop, can I have an omelette?" He whined, sitting down at the table and laying his head on it.  
"Yes, Toothbrush, you can have an omelette." He leaned over and patted Tom's back.  
Tom was fucking ripped, and I mean it, the guy was 6"0 with defined abs and muscles and hairy arms and legs.

I looked down at my phone to distract myself.  
Fuck me running there was a Squirtle right outside, that blue turtle bastard was mine, I rushed over to the window and clicked on the turtle.  
I was throwing poke ball after poke ball and he just wouldn't get the _fuck in the damn ball. ___  
"You got this Edd, you teach that hoe who's boss." Tom was leaning over my shoulder also playing Pokémon Go, except he'd already caught the thing and I hadn't.  
I figured maybe a razzberry would make it easier to catch. Wrong!  
The bastard ran away.

I was grumpy the rest of the morning, even as I drank my tea, ate my omelette on a paper plate and watched Tattoo Fixers on the TV with Tom and Tord, then I got dressed, brushed my teeth, finally fed Ringo and came back to see Tom, also dressed and already drunk at 11am and Tord smoking weed and sat in the corner by himself, curled into himself to the point where I thought he was a pile of old blankets, I got him a glass of water, patted his head and handed him a bag of those new cheeseburger Doritos for him to nibble on in case he got the munchies.  
"We're off down town in a couple hours when he's finished that and I've sprayed him with some deodorant." 

I nodded.

Neat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit what is wrong with me it's almost 1am and there's already a new chapter up??  
> more jon talk next time I promise ;3


	6. Someone's in a heap of trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord makes a huge mistake.

We literally had to hold Tord down and spray him until we couldn't smell the weed anymore and he complained the whole way like he was still in his emo phase, Tom deliberately sprayed near his mouth and Tord kicked his leg out into Tom's thigh, just scraping his nuts, Tord was pretty short but judging by Tom's reaction, jumping back and rubbing his thigh, the little guy packed a hell of a punch and he had pretty muscular thighs.  
Tom helped him up this time, taking his right hand, lacing their fingers and pulling him up onto his feet, his eyes were still a little red but at least he didn't smell like weed anymore.  
It was starting to get really cold outside so we had to all get our winter gear out, I had a puffy green parka and a grey beanie, Tord had a long, black trench coat and a red plaid scarf around his neck and mouth, and Tom wore his hoodie and a pair of fuzzy black gloves.  
He shrugged when I asked if he wanted to get pneumonia.  
We left the house in a line, with Tom at the front as if he was a mother duck, and Tord and I were the dumb, tiny ducklings.  
I hadn't had the chance to actually go into town yet and I was weirdly excited, it wasn't any bigger or more special than my hometown's shops, but a new town was a new experience, and London was a sprawling city.  
Durdam Lane was on the outskirts of London, which meant the town was pretty small and didn't have many interesting places to shop, just the basics of an Aldi, Adsa, Marks and Spencer's and a Pound shop, along with a Cash Generator and Curry's and family run businesses, like a computer repair shop called 'Gizmo's.'  
"So then the Curry's guy was like 'Sir, you're banned from this establishment' and I was all like 'Why' and he was all-" Tom gasped loudly and put a hand on Tord's shoulder. "Dude."  


He pointed to a couple of guys walking our way, the taller one had blonde hair spiked up at the front, piercing blue eyes and a dint in the middle of his chin, along with winged eyeliner, he was also wearing a bright red Christmas jumper despite it still being the middle of November and it read 'Merry Christmas from the gay uncle everyone talks about.' He seemed pretty excited about something but the guy beside him definitely didn't.  
The shorter guy was slightly darker than blondie, with deep brown eyes and hair and a douchebag moustache, he was wearing a dark green parka with a fuzzy white hood and although he was holding the blonde's hand he wasn't smiling or even looking at him.  
Tord moved back and Tom suggested a detour but the blond had spotted us and Tom groaned as he pulled the brunet over to us, still smiling.  
"Hey, Tom, Tord." He greeted them and then turned to me with his other hand out, I shook it.  
"I'm Mark, and this is Eduardo." Eduardo shrugged and turned to Tord, who looked away.  
"I'm Edd, Tom, Tord and Matt's new room mate."  
"Good to meet you." Mark smiled, and I smiled back, Mark seemed like a really fun guy and I couldn't understand why Tom had wanted us to avoid them, although seeing how Tord and Eduardo were talking in hushed tones and Eduardo seemed to be getting annoyed made me think those two didn't get along, luckily Mark took his hand again and bid us goodbye.  
"Ah, we should be going, I want to get a pumpkin spice before lunch hour." He winked as they walked past us and we waved.  
"Friends of yours?" I looked over at Tord.  
"Jon's friends." He didn't say anything else so I shrugged.

Since Tom was apparently banned from the Curry's here we didn't bother going in, although we did stop by Aldi for some more cheap cider, luckily Tom didn't end up getting the strawberry and kiwi again and Tord got some yogurts, I got some cat food for Ringo and a bottle of coke, wonder what happened to all the named bottles, I can never seem to find them anymore.  
We got home a couple hours later after grabbing lunch at Burger King, Tord and Tom used some old bus tickets with coupons on the back and I made a mental note to keep the coupons next time, especially if I wasn't getting any commissions for a bit since I'd put them on hold.  
Tom disappeared into the kitchen to get glasses for the cider and I declined when he offered, as I wanted to finish off at least one commission, so I fed Ringo, made myself some microwave noodles and retreated to my own room.  


So, I'd gotten a commission of £25 to draw Mercy from Overwatch, and I'd already been working on it for maybe just over three hours before I'd moved and it was still barely done, so I put my head down and got to work.  
I woke up some time later dazed, confused and drooling all over my expensive cintiq.  
The landing lights were off, and when I checked my phone it was eleven at night so I figured I'd just change into my pyjamas and go to bed, I saved the tiny amount of work I'd actually done and grumbled to myself as I put away my tablet, I hadn't been that tired when I'd gone out or come back.  
Just as I was about to turn the light out I heard a smash, like glass breaking and I jumped.  
Naturally, when you hear something shatter in the living room you go to investigate, even if you happen to be wearing a My Little Pony onesie and bunny slippers, so I took my phone and dialled 999 as I crept downstairs, but I didn’t press call just yet, on the off chance it was one of my roommates.  
What I saw was a pair of very drunk grown men acting like horny teens.  


Tom was sat back on the sofa, with Tord sat on his lap and sucking and kissing at his lips to the point where both of their lips were starting to go purple, from the looks of things they'd drunk too much of the cider from today and the left over cider from yesterday night, but that wasn't really the important thing.

The important thing is that Tord is a dirty cheater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, this one is short too...  
> Anyway, Tord is a bastard and clearly the villain in this story, no two ways about it.


	7. The Bio Page because I'm stumped on the newest chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the team who wrecked my life!

**Edward Golding Jr**

**Nickname(s)** : Edd, Eddie, Cola.

**Age** : 20

**Height** : 5"7

**Sexuality** : Demisexual.

**Eye colour** : Hazel

**Family** : Edward Sr. (Father), Ellie (Sister)*(Mother passed away)

**Pet(s)** : Ringo (Cat)

**Physical disabilities** : None

**Mental disabilities** : Dyslexia.

**Job** :Freelance Artist.

\------------------

**Matthew Jacob Harding**

**Nickname(s)** : Matt, Mattie, Gingerbread, 

**Age** : 22

**Height** : 6"0 

**Sexuality** : Biromantic, Asexual.

**Eye colour** : Blue 

**Family** : Claire (Mother) *(Father left)

**Physical disabilities** : None.

**Mental disabilities** : Autism, Pica.

**Job** : Hairdresser

\------------------

**Thomas Isaac Ridge**

**Nickname(s)** : Tom, Tommy, Tomee bear, Toothbrush

**Age** : 21

**Height** : 6"2

**Sexuality** : Homosexual.

**Eye colour** : Black.

**Family** : Slyvia (Mother), Craig (Father)

**Physical disabilities** : None.

**Mental disabilities** : Depression, Anxiety.

**Job** : Unemployed, Busker.

\------------------

**Tord Alexander Legion**

**Nickname(s)** : Tordy, Edgelord, Robocop.

**Age** : 19

**Height** : 5"6

**Sexuality** : Pansexual.

**Eye colour** : Heterochromia, Red (L) Grey (R)

**Family** : Lola (Mother), Kristoffer (Father), Kathleen (Sister), Maxine (Niece)

**Physical disabilities** : Prosthetic arm.

**Mental disabilities** : Depression.

**Job** : Unemployed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up these lil bios for the boys.  
> There's shit missing so just ask if you wanna know anything about them, and I didn't bother adding their weights cause idk man.


	8. The truth pours out like sticky red blood.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd is the ever angry mother and Tord's fiancé is revealed.

I coughed loudly and that seemed to pause the two quickly as Tom looked away from my eyes and Tord quickly stood up and brushed himself off.  
"Ah, hi Edd." He smiled sheepishly. "I thought you were in bed. Tom and I were just... chatting."  
"There's a hickey on your neck, Tord." His hand moved to cover up the purple mark, but it was still there and he'd still cheated.  
I dragged him off by his hand into my room and pointed to my bed, he seemed to get the hint and sat right on the edge looking down at the floor like a child.  
My hands were shaking with fury and I stared down Tord hard as he sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. 

“How could you cheat on your fiancé?!” I yelled as I began to pace, Tord didn’t respond.  
“I thought you were a good guy, but a good guy doesn’t go around kissing his friend and cheating on someone he loves! What would have happened if Jon had seen that?” Tord looks up and his eyes are wet and shiny with tears but I don’t buy it one bit.  
“Edd…”  
“Oh I’m not finished yet! You always talk about how ‘sweet’ and 'perfect’ Jon is but you still have the audacity to sleep with someone else?!” Tord stands up and I falter a little as he towers over me with now streaming tears.  
“Jon is dead.”

 **What?**

I must have heard wrong.  
“S-sorry?”  
“Jon is dead, Edd. They have been for just over a year.”  
This is all just a dream, right? I’ll wake up in a second and everything will be normal.  
“I don’t blame you for acting like this, I never told you, but I just wanted to pretend that they were still here.”  
There was a long silence after that, maybe five minutes of nothing but Tord’s heavy breathing, so I reached out and touched his back.  
“S-so the car accident…?”  
“That’s where I lost them, it was a drunk driver on the motorway. I-I tried to save them, I did! I tried to pull them away but they still got hurt.”  
I put my arms around his shoulders and hugged him as tight as I could without disrupting the scars. 

“Paramedics told me they’d pull through, that I was in worse shape but I knew something was wrong. So after I’d finished surgery I went up to their room. They were fine but I still couldn’t shake the feeling off so I proposed right there, oh God Edd, I can still see how excited they were, there were so many tears.” He stopped to take in a deep breath.  
“We were planning out our entire lives in that hospital room, Edd.” He sighed. “We were going to get married in front of everyone in a big church, go to Disneyland for our Honeymoon, we were gonna get our own little house with a big garden for the dog and the kids. They wanted three and I wanted one, they won 'cause they kissed me.”  
I heard him choke back a sob.  
“They asked for one last kiss, told me they’d be right back. I can still hear the beep.” He started to sob.  
“I wanted to give them everything, and now they’re dead and it’s all my fault.”  
I put a hand on his back and rubbed it slowly over his spine while he cried, God, I was an awful person, wasn't I? It made sense in context, the offhand remarks, the ring that didn't fit _him_ , and the reason behind them not living together. 

I felt like shit, even hours later when Tord told me it was fine, that it was his fault for not explaining it, and that he still liked me.

He called me a 'swell guy' as he returned to the living room to curl up with Tom, and even held his arms out for me to join them, I said I needed to work and he smiled as I left, telling me not to overwork myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next we'll go to Tom's horrible life :).  
> I really want to make a small spin off from this chapter that focuses on Tord and Jon, but definitely not right now.  
> And Jon uses they/them pronouns because they're non binary.


	9. Nothing like hugging your friend (In a straight way)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd is so straight he's practically gay.

I didn’t come out of my room for the rest of the day, Matt came in and asked if I wanted breakfast since today was his day off but I politely declined, then Tom came and asked if I was okay and I lied to him and said I was fine, Tord was over at a friends today and I was glad, I really didn’t want to talk to him. 

I just wish I would stop checking his Snapchat story every hour to make sure he was okay. 

Mr. ‘CommieBoii69’ seemed fine in the selfies and videos he took, with all of them having a baby girl dressed head to toe in a pink frilly dress and a bow in her short blonde hair or two guys, one who I recognised immediatley as Paul van der Voren, a friend of mine from college who I’d sit next to and eat lunch with, he was a nice guy who smoked like a chimney and drank coffee as though it was going out of style and last I’d heard he’d gotten engaged to his highschool sweetheart, Patryk Gretsky, who’d attended a different college to us, and then just like real college friends we hadn’t talked since I’d graduated, nice to know they were happy together, and seeing them together in so many short videos really did how _happy_ they were, constantly kissing or holding each other or their daughter, I actually felt…jealous? Maybe that’s not the right word. 

Envy? 

Maybe it was nothing after all and I could push down the feeling and get back on track with my work, I felt so inadequate and _bad_ , for the first time since I’d started the commissions I couldn’t keep on track and since the recent incident with Tord I felt I didn’t want to really do anything but maybe eat ice cream and lay in bed, but then I felt bad that I was doing nothing so I got up at nine the next morning and snuck down to the kitchen with Ringo in tow. 

Matt was up bright and early as usual, and I’d briefly wondered if the guy was actually a vampire in disguise, it’d make sense, he was pale and burnt easily in the sun, and he had just two freckles on his neck that looked like a bite, unlike with Tom I didn’t feel weird outright asking Matt if he was a vampire, and he assured me he was just ginger and it was close enough. I smiled at him as I made my way to the fridge and looked through for anything that wasn’t out of date or labeled, he seemed to frown as he saw me and mouthed out 'Are you okay?’ and put his ear to his phone. 

I hadn’t had the 'pleasure’ of meeting Matt’s boss yet, but from what he’d told me she was an evil witch of a woman who’d hated Matt since he was hired and bullied him for being the only guy, she was also **extremely** transphobic and homophobic and Matt was only staying at her salon until he found a much better job, and it seemed he was getting closer as he’d mentioned two very famous friends of his called Bing and Larry, Bing was a B - list movie director who created some, in my opinion, of the best horror and action movies I’d ever seen, and Larry was his husband and partner, apparantly Mark, the guy I’d met yesterday also worked with them as a makeup artist, anyway, their old hair stylist had quit and they’d offered Matt the job. 

“No, look Margaret, I’m- no, n-…yes.” He sighed dramatically and hung up rather abruptly on the screaming woman. “Good news?” I asked. “I’ve been fired!” He looked pretty excited for an unemployed guy and I laughed along with him. 

“Congratulations Matt, I knew you had it in you.” And that’s when he picked me up in his arms and twirled me around, now I don’t really want to know if you’ve been twirled around in your life, and quite frankly I don’t care, but for anyone who hasn’t, it leaves you dizzy and if you’re _extremely_ heterosexual, like me, it also makes you bright red and confused. 

“Oh, sorry there Edd, I’m used to doing that with Tord.” Matt was bright red too. “Anyway, you alright?” 

“Oh, yeah I am, I’ve just been finishing off some work.” He moved behind me to brush his manicured pink nails through my hair and I was weirded out by how _normal_ I thought it was, Matt had a seriously soft touch. “Tord told us what happened with you two.” I froze in place and was about to apologise when Matt spoke again. 

“You shouldn’t feel bad about it Edd, you did what you thought was right!” He rested his chin on my head and wrapped his long arms around my stomach. “I’d want you to do that if you thought I was cheating, even though I wouldn’t.” He adds with a chuckle.

We bathe in the silence for a long while until he goes off to tell Bing he’ll take the job and I'm left there feeling very hungry and still heterosexual in every way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my good tumblr friend whyareyoureyesblack <3 
> 
> also a short chapter again because you're all probably expecting something big buuut no.  
> Last minute changes include Matt and Patryk both being trans guys.


	10. If only we didn't have to have feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're perfect, and I'm on the outside.

Matt, I find, is a great hairdresser, and an even better person.

He's a kind soul, and although I'll admit he has his dumb moments, he's genuine and very sweet to everyone, he gives his change to buskers and the homeless, even if he suspects they're going to spend it on booze, and he clicks every _single_ clikcbait article on the off chance it actually is an anti aging cream that dermatologists hate, or a woman baking an egg in an avocado will actually _blow his tits off._

Maybe 'blow his tits off' isn't the right phrase, since Matt is trans and all, but I didn't mean it in _that_ way! I'm coming off as a bigot again, at least Matt knows me well enough to know I didn't mean it in a bad way.  
My point is, he's a really, really nice guy, and no offence to Tom and Tord or anything, but it was weird how he'd stayed with them, Matt had enough money to find his own place and still chose to live with them, he told me he'd met them both back in nursery, and basically lived their whole lives together, and I'd waltzed in a month ago and befriended them.

I wasn't really in 'the group', I was the new roommate.

I didn't get any of their inside jokes, I didn't share clothes or bathroom spaces with them, I couldn't help them if there was something wrong, save for Matt's allergies, and I couldn't ever hope to have the same relationship with any of them the same way they had with each other, and yet as sad as this fact is, I'm happy.

Matt, Tom and Tord are the best of friends, and they've allowed me into their home and their lives, they trust me to help them with things and get their medication for them, and I almost feel as if I am part of the group like this, I'm living a comfortable life at the age of 20, and I haven't even considered what I'm going to do when we actually grow up.  
Well, maybe I have just a little, my dad and step mum desperately want to be grandparents and in laws, and are pressuring me into finding a nice little girlfriend and settling down before I'm 30, like _that's_ old, I'm not saying my parents are wrong or bad in any way, but they have an older way of thinking, I haven't really found someone I really wanted to be with, sans Matt, Tom and Tord, I don't really feel much romantic attraction to _anyone_ , it makes me feel broken to not be into people I've dated and not connect with any one, and I prefer to not think about what's wrong with me and focus on my work.

Matt is the exact opposite in that respect, he's very open and respectful of everyone's sexualities and loves to flaunt his own, I admire every aspect of him, he's perfect to me.  
'It isn't a crush.' I keep telling myself, but every time I think about him or see him my heart beats so fast I worry I'm gonna die, and then I think about Tom and Tord, how protective Tom is and how he always puts a hand on my shoulder before I step onto the road, and that little snort he does when he thinks of something funny; and Tord... Tord is loyal, and he always checks up on me if I've been in my room for an extended period, he's cautious about seatbelts and when he stumbles over his words and forgets the English equivalent he blushes brighter than his hoodie and arm put together. They all make me so inexplicably happy that I don't know what to do anymore.

I can't date them, not one, not two, not all of them. It wouldn't be right. They have their own lives outside of this group, even if they're all currently single it doesn't mean they don't have their own interests, Tom and Tord have their own thing going on, and Matt's pretty close to Mark.

So I push those feelings down, and when Tom pokes his head through the door and invites me to go to the cinema with them, I close my laptop and take my coat, and only look back to pet Ringo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even keep continuity in this damn fic, but any mentions of Edd's mum is his step mum.  
> This chapter gave me trouble, but next chapter will be happy, I promise.


	11. The very special chapter where friends kiss platonically

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go to hell!

The Cineworld here was huge compared to the one that I used to live near, and it even _smelt_ nicer, not like a dumpster and instead smelt of warm popcorn, nachos and hot dogs, as soon as we entered there was a blast of hot air that made me forget that it was hailing outside and my cheap coat had soaked through to my hoodie and t-shirt, it would dry.  
Oh, and this Cineworld was inside Xscape, might have forgotten to mention that.

So when we got inside Tom left to go to the bathroom, then Tord did, and then Matt had to chase after them so they wouldn't do the nasty and get us banned for life from the coolest place I'd ever been to, and I went and got the tickets for them, the escalators looked packed so I took the lift instead, which looked like a cactus. Someone had graciously held the door open for me and I thanked them as I caught my breath. That someone happened to be Eduardo. "Hey." He waved, and I nodded because I wasn't really sure how else to respond to him. Eduardo looked...tired, not just 'I had a hard day at work' tired, but 'I haven't slept since last Christmas' tired, and he looked thinner, more frail, and unhappier than he's been when we first met. 

We were the only two in the lift, too, so I felt it was okay to ask him.

"Hey, are you alright?" He nodded, flicking his eyes anywhere but my face. "Fine. How are you and your friends?" I thought about Tord and Jon. "Oh, they're fine! They sent me to go get tickets. Are you here alone?" He shook his head, and then looked a little dizzy from it. "Mark went to get snacks from that store at the back, gonna sneak 'em in." 

He had this look on his face, like his lips were happy and smiling, but his eyes were sunken and dark underneath, his fingers were twitchy and he swayed slightly as he stood, I could tell he was really sleep deprived and most likely depressed and I wanted to befriend him. "Hey um-." I was cut off by the sound of gears grinding and the big metal box coming to an abrupt stop, it threw both of us a little as it stopped and there was a brief moment of quiet, before we both began to panic.

"D-did it just stop?" Eduardo began to hyperventilate first, and I knew that I couldn't let myself get scared too, he sank to the floor and grabbed at his hair so I sat beside him and put my hand on his back, he flinched a bit and I did too as I felt his spine and ribs under his thin shirt, not to mention how cold he was. "It's okay! Really, I'm sure it'll start up again in a moment!" He didn't seem so convinced and instead began to cry, it was soft and I didn't notice it until tears began to drip onto the floor in front of us and I got worried. I wasn't good at cheering people up, and I certainly couldn't help someone through a panic attack, being happy and cheerful and flowers sprouting wherever you walk was all Matt, and I'd heard Tom and Tord were both good at the more calming part, so I took that to heart. What would the guys do? 

I took his hands away from his face and smiled as gently as I could, 'Like Matt' I thought, then I helped him with his breathing, like Tom would, I even googled some Christmassy puns like 'What do they sing at Frosty's birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow!' to distract him, like Tord would, took me twenty six minutes but he calmed down.

"I-I'm good." He breathed. "I'm good." He reassured himself, and put his hand on my shoulder to push himself back up to his feet, then pulled me up by my arm. "Thanks, usually Jon 'n' Mark help me through those." He looked down at that thought and I touched his hands. "Um, Tord told me about Jon, I'm really sorry." He nodded.

"Yeah, we all are. They were too sweet to everyone, gave money to the poor, put money in tip jars, hell, one Christmas we sent 'em down to pick us up some coffee and they came back without a coat on and Tord. They gave their coat to an old homeless bastard and came back with some Norwegian guy who wanted to walk 'em back." _Shit_ , Jon was perfect.

I mean, I give money to the homeless sometimes, sure, but I don't think I'd ever be willing to part with my jacket or hoodie, and I definitely wouldn't let some random Scandinavian walk me back home in the cold, I felt a heavy weight in my stomach as I thought about how Tord had taken it in stride when he'd only recently lost the love of his life, and here was Eduardo, who depended on his only two friends to help him through panic attacks, and I felt like some sort of cheap replacement for them.

"Tell Tord I don't hate him, alright?" He suddenly said after five minutes of silence, I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off and continued talking. "I ain't blamin' him for what happened, I just...I loved Jon first, and then Tord came along and they were happy and I was left behind...I wanna patch things up with him." His voice wavered and I could tell he was holding back his sobs, so I put my arms around him and rocked him slowly.

"It's okay Eddie, he isn't mad at you." He broke down in my arms, sobbing and dribbling and hiccuping and I held him there as he did. "Y-you're so much like Jon, got similar hairstyles and same laugh and- and you're so kind, willin' to give a bastard like me a second chance. It's too much!" He shoved me away and wiped his nose and eyes with his shirt sleeve, it was gross.

"Eduardo, you don't need to push everyone away. You deserve to be happy." I pulled him back into my arms and he didn't squirm, just put his chin on my shoulder and sighed heavily, his breath tickled my neck a bit.

"I just...I'm sorry Edd, you're a good kid. You don't deserve to get mixed up in this shit." He raised his head to look me in the eyes, his eyes were a dark brown that made me think of brownies, I wanted a brownie and also to get the _hell_ out of the fucking lift.

"You're so much like Jon." And then he kissed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* theses get worse and worse don't they?  
> also I kinda gave away where I live by mentioning xscape, but I couldn't resist tbh  
> and idk how panic attacks work or how to calm someone down, so I hope this is okay.  
> I really want to get into tom and matts backstories...


	12. Matt is beautiful and happy (And Edd isn't)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to a movie, and there's not much else.

Eduardo had surprisingly soft lips despite his 'aging dad' appearance, even if his moustache tickled my lip a bit he was still a good kisser, soft lips and just enough pressure to make it firm but still comfortable, no tongue too, which was always a plus.  
_And then I remembered I was kissing some guy I'd met once and wasn't attracted to ._

We seperated with a wet pop that made me cringe inwardly. "I...Um..." He stood up and wiped away the saliva from his lips, not blushing as much as I was.

"This didn't happen, okay? He offered his hand out to me and pulled me up when the doors to the lift opened up, there was a huge crowd of people watching us exit and I sheepishly pushed my way through to the cinema only to find Matt, Tom and Tord already waiting for me in the small waiting room off to the side. "You were stuck in the lift, eh?" Matt ushered me over and I stood beside his chair since there wasn't another for me, I nodded and looked to the the entrance to see Mark and Eduardo walking in, he didn't look at me but he knew I was there.

"We...uh, we going in?" I urged them, and they all stood up, Tom handed me my ticket, four seats right at the back in the middle, Matt took my wrist and pulled me in and I was glad the lights were off, that meant they couldn't see me blush.

Matt was sat on the far right, then me, then Tom, then Tord, all in a straight line, and I knew the cinema was going to be packed to the brim since it was the midnight screening of the newest Star Wars movie, Rogue One, Tord and Tom were both equally as excited and bouncing in their seats while Matt and I were indifferent, I knew like, next to nothing about Star Wars and I'd embarrassed myself last time I talked about it by doing the 'Vulcan salute', whatever that was, but I was always ready to appreciate the robots. Most of the movie was fine, we got a sad backstory and a cool, scarcastic robot, and even a _blind_ Jedi, which Tom told me was unheard of in the history of the stories. And then there was the ending.

If you haven't seen the newest Star Wars yet, number one; I'm surprised someone hasn't spoiled it for you yet, and number two: It. Is. Horrible! I mean, it's really nice, it has lots of action and amazing special effects, but oh man is it depressing with all the deaths, literally every new character we meet ends up dying by the end! Even the robot!

I looked over to Matt and he shrugged, then pointed over to Tom and Tord, I turned to them and they were _sobbing_ , I was watching two full grown men hold each other and cry.  
"I didn't want Kaytoo to die!" Tord sniffed and Tom held him closer.  
"I wanted Baze and Chirrut to get married and live forever!" Tom cried loudly as the credits rolled, Matt and I stopped at the bathrooms and told the kids to wait patiently or they wouldn't get KFC.

"Man, my legs are killing me!" I laughed.  
"Ugh, I smudged my eyeliner in there." Matt whined and fixed up his winged eyeliner while I went to the bathroom, when I came out and went to wash my hands Matt finished and looked pretty as hell leaning against the sinks and filing his nails like a badass.  
"Oh, you finished Eddie?" I don't know where that nickname came from but I loved it.  
"Uh, yeah." I washed my hands quickly and walked out to get Tord and Tom, who had finished crying but still had red rimmed eyes, Matt put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me in front, and then we went to KFC.

We were a little loud, and we may have spoilt the movie for people who hadn't seen it yet, but we were quick to eat our food and leave, so to the employees we were just the 'ten minute assholes', when we got home Tord and Tom left to their rooms straight away, while Matt put his half finished diet Pepsi in the fridge and I filled Ringo's water bowl up.  
"We should definitely go out another time." Matt said, and I almost forgot Tom and Tord had even come out with us to begin with, I wondered what type of movies Matt liked and if he'd be willing to go out with me.

"Oh, yeah! Maybe a Disney one next year or something?" Matt nodded.  
"Yes! Oh, we should watch some of the older ones too like Beauty and the Beast, that's my all time favourite." He bent down to pick up Ringo and twirl like a princess and I laughed.  
"Ooh, I need to get up early today, I'm off to bed. Night Eddie!" He kissed my forehead and left while I stood in the middle of the living room blushing.

"Yeah, night Matt." I walked up to my room and laid in bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes as I did and fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

I could still feel his lips on my head, and it made me feel warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't the best, but the next chapter will be a surprise.


	13. Update.

Here we are in a big, white space, it's very nice and clean, not a single speck of dust, and I've invited some friends.  
Oh, there they are, Edd, Matt, Tom, Tord, Eduardo, Mark, Jon, Paul, and Patryck, it's a nice little get-together.  
Hello boys! I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you here.  
"Who the hell is talking?" Oh shut up Tom, you're not even the issue.  
"Why is my dead fiancé here?" Good question Tord! The answer is: I don't know, I figured you'd appreciate it a bit, now hush while the adults talk, and don't curse under your breath.  
Now, the reason you're all here is simple! We've had to alter this and every other fic I've ever written in the tiniest way possible: 'Patryk' will now be spelt as 'Patryck'.  
"Um, why?" Because I'm tired, Pat. It's the least I could do and in all fairness, you and Paul might not make a real appearance anymore anyway.  
"What? You're still paying us, right?" In cigarettes and nail files, yes.  
I don't plan chapters in advance, as you know, so if you DO make an appearance you can whine and bitch all you want.  
Now, you can leave through the door over there and you'll have no recollection of this happening, Tord and Eduardo didn't see the dead love of their life and Patryck's name has always been spelt as that, okay?  
"What was that thing about Eduardo being in love with Jon?" Shut up and get out of my house, or I'll keep you alive like Walt Disney.

Ah, now that they're gone I can go back to crying my eyes out and sleeping, sorry about this cheeky update rather than a new chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't do another update chapter in my life, sorry about not finishing the actual chapter.


	14. Alternate Universes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As sweet as cherry cola.

I woke up earlier than I usually did, so I put my cute bunny slippers on and made breakfast for the guys, I'm really bad at making good food so the most they were getting was a fried egg on a slice of toast and some tea, fed the cat and plopped myself down on the sofa with my food to watch the news.  
"Good morning Ell!"  
"Morning Matilda, I made breakfast!" Matilda rushed into the kitchen and came back with her breakfast, then sat beside me to enjoy it.  
"Aww, thanks my little cherry cola." We kissed and she folded her toast into an egg sandwich while simultaneously drinking her tea, my favourite thing about Matilda was that she looked beautiful all the time, even when she sneezed! And her hair was so silky and soft, too! Gosh she is so pretty!  
Tamara walked in a couple minutes later and got her breakfast too.

"Mornin' Ell, mornin' 'Tilda." She was grumpy' cause she isn't a morning person at all but she still kissed us, she had gross morning breath but who cares? Anyway, she went to get her breakfast and sat on Matilda's side and Matilda put her arm around her.  
"Ooh!" She gasped and pulled her arms away. "Tamara, you're freezing!" She shivered and Tamara laughed.  
"Yeah, Tori was hoggin' our blankets last night, I woke up in my boxers and the window open." She shrugged and pulled the telly remote from between the cushions, early morning TV really sucks and the news is always sad but we're not really talkative when we first wake up, more cuddly and squishy.  
Tori always wakes up last because she stays up late the night before so her breakfast is always in the microwave, but she suprised me that morning by getting up five minutes after and taking her lukewarm breakfast from the micro, I guess there's a first time for everything!  
"Morning." She sighed happily and squished herself in between me and Matilda, then took out her phone and opened Facebook.

Good news?" I asked and she smiled, holding her phone out to me, I took it and read the first post, there was a picture of a newborn baby swaddled in blue, and then a picture of Bing and Laura smiling and holding the baby...  
Wait.  
"Oh my God! Bing and Laura had their baby!" I yelled and Matilda leaned over to look too as I cooed over the photo.  
"He's so tiny and cute! We should call them later!" She yelled too, equally excited, and we all agreed to call them later and maybe give them a quick visit once they were settled

After breakfast we all got dressed, while I got dressed in my own room Tamara came in and asked if she could borrow one of my bras since all of hers were in the wash, I threw a couple of lacy ones at her and we had fun trying on different ones, most of my lacy ones were from 'Tilda since she has a great eye for underwear and Tori and Tammy like to wear boxers so I figured I'd compromise and wear boxers and a lacy bra.  
"So, we're gonna go down to the shopping centre, yeah? We can get some dinner and maybe get a drink or two." Tamara smiled as she applied her lipgloss and looked so darn kissable that I just _had_ to lean over for a kiss. It was cherry flavoured so I _might_ have just kissed her until it was all gone and she had to reapply more but honestly, cherries are the best fruit ever invented by anyone ever, so I continued to kiss her lips and cheeks and neck and she laughed.  
"Ell, give up! I'm trying to get dressed!" She squealed and I kissed her shoulder.  
"Oh Ell, let her get dressed you monster!" Matilda grabbed my waist from behind and I screamed loudly, she began to kiss my neck, along my shoulders and my scars and moles and I felt really content in her arms, I liked to play connect the dots with her freckles when she lets me.

When we all _finally_ got dressed we went to meet Elanor and Marceline for a late lunch.  
Marceline is honestly one of the prettiest women I've ever met, she likes to braid her hair into a crown around her head to keep it neat and tidy while Elanor liked to keep hers short and used gel to spike it, Elanor was still pretty sad and anxious, but I like to think I'd helped her a lot during these last ten months, she wasn't afraid to tell us how she felt and was happy to go out with one of us for some girl time, especially since her surgery, I'm so proud of her.  
We had a lot of fun with them and spent a few extra hours to watch Passengers with them, it wasn't as good as we'd expected but it was just a 'meh' on the scale, above that god awful Beauty and The Beast remake but below Fantastic Beasts, which is absolutely _fantastic_.

We bought cheap Sainsbury's curries for tea and rewatched Miss Peregrine's before bed, as the credits rolled and I shook Tamara awake I had a thought.  
"Hey girls, do you think there are other universes, like a universe where we're boys?"   
Starr hopped up onto my lap and began to lick at the dirty plate like he was starving.  
"Perplexing question, Ell." Tori hummed, removing my hair bobble and ruffling my hair.  
"Nah, that's just silly!" Matilda giggled, pulling Tamara up into her arms.  
"Well, whether they exist or not, I hope they're as happy as we are." I smiled and kissed Tamara's forehead, she smiled in her sleep.

I hope they're very happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dedicating this chapter to my skype friends, especially Syrup and Tam who both inspired me and kept me so damn happy. <3  
> I'm sorry this chapter took so long, especially when it's so sub par.


End file.
